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Threesome? How bout a Fivesome?

The essence of a man is his ego.

The testosterone enriched nature of the male biological nature creates this trait, and can work in a positive way in which motivates a man to be competitive, energized, and sharp in his daily activities and towards his goals. However, the male ego is aggressive, and can lead a man to do things that he often chooses not to do.

His nature is somewhat insecure, and craves attention in the need to be the Alpha male in any field a man desires to excel in. This craving works in positivity if directed in the right direction, however it can become a fraility in a man’s psyche, especially with women.

A phsio-biological nature of men brought by evolution is the need to spread his seed around as many partners as he can achieve. This sexual frustration is seen as a weakness in mankind, where he cannot control his sexual inhibitions with every pretty girl that crosses his path.

This is in generalisation, many men can control their desires, however, there will be the time when having a coffee with his monogamous partner, and his straying eyes will catch a glance of that brunette wearing a very short skirt.

In Islam, it is said that the weakness of men derives from his desire of women. That the creation of man was given a balance of strengths and weaknesses, in which the nature of being polygamous is one of the frailities.

The desire of craving the attention of the opposite sex has lead to great men falling to their knees to the feet of women, the lustful need for a woman’s touch and partnership can make a man drunk with confusion, where he does not think with his head or his heart, but with his ego in his pants.

Thus, men are stupefied by this power, and these indecision’s have caused great wars and seen great empires such as the Roman and Chinese dynasties crumble because of men’s infatuation with women.

Women’s discreet power is sexuality.

Sexuality is not defined just by superficial looks, but by intelligence and charm that seduces men to the allure of a woman’s grasp. The captivating nature of having a partner can bring a man to his knees.

It is an attribute which its integrity is often undermined by the male perspective, where women are just seen as an object of his desire, a perspective formed by a male dominated society. However, we can observe that this is a subtle form of control that a woman has over a man. That a man’s desire for wealth, power, and success is relative to his desire for women.

A woman allows a man to run amok with his ego, and let him believe that he is in control, yet, the reigns are being held by women as men are running around in the grasp of their hands because of our uncontrollable nature to think with our penis.

This goes skin deep, where polygamous marriage is allowed in the religion of Islam because of this perception of this weakness of man. This does not mean that a man can go around freely collecting a harem of women to wed, but allows a layaway for a man to control his desire in a way that can be fair with the opposite sex.

It must be said that this act is strongly discouraged, that a man should only marry one woman, however if a man can reach the criteria of utmost prejudice can he go along marrying several women.

The concept is based on a fair contract between the man and his wife or wives, which acts in accordance with a contract of a monogamous marriage: Pre-nuptials, the agreement to be loyal, and the agreement to be treated fairly.

This is taken the same way in a polygamous contract, where the agreement must be established by the first wife, before a man is allowed to marry another. The reason must be valid, in a current day perspective it can be upheld if the wife cannot bear children, if the woman (wanted to be married) is a widow, or reasons in which the first wife has the final decision if the husband wants to take another.

Simply, the first wife has the last say if it is permissible for the husband to take a second wife, which if she disagrees, he must abide to her decision.

Polygamy sounds like a flawed procedure, which it often is; where the men would act behind the woman’s back and elope with his 22 year old secretary. It must be reinstated that the act is strongly discouraged, however the inclination of the act works in fairness; where it supposedly defends the integrity of women and allow a safety net for men to work around the weakness of sexual desire. Allow this thought to roam:

Is it better for a guy to cheat behind his partner’s back, or come clean in front of his partner about his lust/love over another woman?

Polygamy creates a contract between his multiple partners to act in a fair and just manner towards his multiple wives. This situation cannot be understood by western culture and modern society. It just can’t work.

How can a person love more than one person? How can a woman accept another woman to share her love for the same man? Men cannot act in a manner to achieve such fairness to treat all his wives with the same love, economic and social treatment, and ability to mediate harmony between the wives.

The flaws of human persona cannot comprehend and manage such a task without failing.In most cases, the contracts are abused, and women are often forced into becoming mistresses veiled under being called a ‘wife’.There are very rare cases which a working polygamous relationship works. A good article example: Romantic Dinner for Five.

Lets assume a functional polygamous relationship. For a man to be able to manage four wives, he must have a nature to love them unconditionally and treat them evenly with respect, financially, and duty of care. And for four different women to share one man, he really must be that perfect.

For polygamy to occur,  the trust in the words of the holy book of Islam must be correctly interpreted. Although the scripture presents much subjectivity and ambiguity, a person must believe the wisdom in the scripture holds perfect truth. That the husband and wife or wives must have a understanding of love that is broader between each other, and must love the Higher Power and trust why He allowed such a relationship.

That means rejecting the norms created by society on how a relationship or marriage should be like, and to put a utmost trust in the holy book.

But imagine if it worked, how beautiful that family would be – The wives are loving best friends, and have a great husband who loves them and treats them to the greatest integrity that they deserve. There are numerous positives, a larger combined income, extra helping hands in the family, and a greater companionship in life.

Sometimes marriages fail because the husband becomes restless due to the mundane sex. A man’s infidelity makes him run off to another woman, a polygamous marriage would divert that. The sex would be amazing, and the possibilities in the bedroom would be endless, keeping the marriage fresh and vibrant throughout.

However, humankind is not perfect and cannot comprehend such a relationship, or are able to act in such manner to maintain such a persona to even pull off a successful polygamous relationship, which is a greater weakness. Thus, man have to learn to be strong and control his desire and concentrate on one special woman.

Like communism, the concept of Polygamy is marred by the limitations of human understanding – what can work on paper can sometimes fail in reality.

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About Ariff Azmi

Founder of shriekingmonkeys - My interests span from quirky culture to anything that dares to amuse my highly-desensitized nature.

One response to “Threesome? How bout a Fivesome?

  1. ani ⋅

    Hi,
    it is an utmost description of “polygamy” that I agree upon. Good writings:)

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