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Her name was Sylvia, Sylvia Salvia.

Sylvia Salvia. The terror in her introduction has infected this monkey with intense experience, in some sense of fear for the next time this experience should ever be done. Not far away, four monkeys embarked in their own journey in a small hut with metal furniture as surroundings for theater. I’ve decided to meet this notoriously known herb, for which she introduced herself violently for the first 10 seconds, and slowly she caressed me no better than any woman has ever had.

The beginning was a simple hello to a dark shaped tea herbs and I started to wonder, “Would this make me feel healthy instead of the simple plain standby feel?” The look was however, very deceiving. She’s probably the worst looking herbal prostitute, and the taste is like kissing a woman who brushed her teeth using nothing but rotten garlic.

And after this very first experience with Sylvia Salvia, she made sure I remembered her well.

After a brief session of what Sylvia’s potential political torture, it was advised not to speak, move, lean and laugh. For which neither, did I not fully take into consideration and let insanity does its best to me.

Sylvia Salvia, once you burn her in this special made pipe with a distracting red flashing light around it, you think nothing about what you’re about to inhale and you let your guard down with this powerful sense of herb. After kissing her, it kicks you without hesitation regardless of how powerful this shield you are protecting yourself with. Know this, Sylvia is strong enough to penetrate this god damn shield. Leaving me, with 10 seconds of the worst trip of my life.

The feel of it?

Your mind suddenly leans to one side. My theory for now, if you’re right handed you will lean to your right side. Its simply unexplainable. I started to feel more than what a usual monkey would feel. I felt as if there was a nearby magnet, pulling my mind towards it. Panic! I stood up, walked out from that hut with metal furniture desperately wanting to ask “Sylvia, What have you done to me?”. I walked and ran to where this right side of energy is pulling me into. The other monkey’s panic with this sight and asked me to come back in and sit down. This strong magnetic standby however, felt like it was like as if some actual chimpanzee spiked your drink just to get in your pants. I strike fear on a fellow monkey who has not tried Sylvia. The look on his face was never the same of how he would most likely resort into the same Standby room.

The company of Pink Floyd’s ‘Us and Them”, reached its peak and this is where your mind is left vulnerable. Mary Jane was never like this, she was chilled and allowed us to multitask with peace in the Standby room. Sylvia, simply did not believe in foreplay. She calms you down for awhile after stepping on your mind, and you slowly start to endure and sit tight. After Pink Floyd was done, the chaotic Lou Reed’s “satellite of love” started to peak as well. Leaving your mind fully focused on this unorthodox self discovery path. Paranoia. My advice:

Don’t ever put on Radiohead when you meet Sylvia, she will make sure you understand their lyrics

Of course it all depends on individuality. If you believe in many things, these many things will most likely appear in front of you. Sylvia Salvia is a psycho active herb that will make you actually see, what a jungle your mind is. The possible creatures never seen before could only exist in this imaginative mind of yours and to truly know how to get there, is not by standby, only Sylvia could show you the way.

She finishes you off in just half an hour or less. But remember, because of her, she has officially formed a strange living thing in your mind, knocking your inner skull till it hurts. The trick is, just like Mary Jane, never ever fight it. Once you inhale it, let it conquer you. Don’t even put an armour up to defend yourself. She’ll come in with the biggest bull no matter what colour cape you put in front of it, it will ram you down. Caress Sylvia and she will slide herself on your skin comfortably. With Mary Jane, its easy to fight her and its not painful because she knocks your door before entering. Sylvia, is just not your average herb.

However, sobering down with Velvet Underground’s “Venus in furs’, the world started going at its normal pace. You start remembering where you are in the first place. And slowly, you see Sylvia walking away with a smile knowing, that you will not see her for the longest time. I however, would want to see her again once in every reasonable amount of months.

Or maybe soon…

Open your mind


5 responses to “Her name was Sylvia, Sylvia Salvia.

  1. Curly ⋅

    Ah Sylvia… No other woman may compare.

    … With the exception of Lucy, mayhaps.

  2. Amir Yunos ⋅

    Curly?!?! hahaha

    This account sounds very recent!

    Yeah, Lucy. I wanna meet lucy actually.

  3. Germaine Fuckpump ⋅

    You should get $20 together and smoke a real prostitute. Or just try licking behind the fridge you cheap fuk.

  4. You don’t really “meet” Salvia. Instead, you BECOME her, either with or against your will. With your will, you just give up your will and let Salvia have you. Against your will, she utterly crushes you.

    Salvia will show you that your entire identity is an illusional farce.

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